Happy Easter!

Easter has been on my mind for the past two weeks and it's coming up fast.
A few weeks ago, I began thinking about it when I was buying Easter eggs and other goodies for the children. I remembered watching Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" at the movie theater during a date with my dear husband. We were enthralled. I cried a lot. I was very impacted by that visual realization of what my Lord had suffered. For me.

Last week during Spring Break, we rented the DVD and we decided to allow all our children to watch it. It does have the R rating, but we felt good about allowing them to watch. It wasn't a spontaneous decision. We spoke about it at legnth, and decided we would do this for a few reasons. Mainly because we both grew up with the very vague, "this is how it was" notion within our various religions that, "And Jesus died on the cross and on the third day he rose again," and Yay, Whooo Hooo, now get Hot Cross Buns and Easter Eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even as an adult, and a believer, I never quite grasped that concept of what really happened. I was grateful for it, and happy that it meant a future in heaven for me. But that was about it. The movie changed a lot for me. We did of course, consider the fact that obviously believers have gotten by without the visual aid of movies for thousands of years - and done just fine in the area of salvation and considering the Easter sacrifice. We just felt okay about using a modern "help" so to speak.

During the movie, we used an entire box of tissues. Popcorn was left uneaten. Comments were heartfelt. "It's not fair that He had to go through that." "If I had been there, I would have jumped out the crowd and moved those guards away from Him."
And, I remembered my own intense feelings from when I had watched the first time around. Mary. Oh Mary. How did you do that? How did you hold yourself back from what your mothers' heart must surely have been screaming to you?
To my friend Suzy at church, I had said, "I felt myself in Mary's situation, and imagined someone treating one of my three son's with such hatred and contempt, causing them so much pain - and I know, Lord forgive me, I would have stood between them and killed them before I let them lay another hand on my child."
"That's why you weren't chosen," Suzy told me with a chuckle, "Or we'd all be in hell right now!"

This morning during my prayer time, I was thinking about Easter. Thinking about the Hot Cross Buns I will bake on Good Friday, the ham to buy for Sunday, chocolate eggs to hide and for some reason the prayer popped out of my head and I thought about "The Passion of The Christ" movie. I remembered at the end where we see the holes in His hands and that made me think of a song I have fallen in love with lately. "This Man" by Jeremy Camp.

I heard the song on a radio station that we often listen to - Spirit 1053. I liked it right from the beginning because of the melody and the soothing vocal. After it had been playing for a few weeks, it came on while we were all in the car. Turning it up, I told Eric how much I love the song, and asked if he knew who sang it. It got to the chorus, and some of us sang along: "Will you take the place of this man? Will you take the nails from his hand?" Brogan asked me what that meant and for the first time since hearing the song, I really took note of the words while explaining to him.

Today, while praying, reflecting on the movie and hearing the words to this song in my mind, I asked myself - Would I? Would I take the place of This Man? Would I take the nails from His hands? I so badly wanted to be honorable, brave, noble. I wanted to be righteous. I wanted God to know that He could rely on me. I wanted Him to know how grateful I am and that yes, I would return the sacrifice. I wanted Him to know that I love Him so much, that I would willingly take His place.

However, my Father values honesty, and anyway, where could I hide? I am ashamed to say, that with the visuals in my mind of the Truth, the answer is no. NO.

I WOULD NOT TAKE HIS PLACE.

I WOULD NOT TAKE THE NAILS FROM HIS HAND.

Forgive me Jesus. I really want to say I would. I would be too scared though. So, I just ask that you would please forgive my human mind, my weak body. Thank you for accepting all my faults. Especially because, if I were given the chance to take your place, knowing what you did for me, I still would not. I am sorry. I am weak. I do not deserve you. I do not deserve your goodness or your forgiveness.

But, you give it anyway. Everyday. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Father, I am so grateful. Please, let me always feel this way.

Gypsy

Yesterday afternoon Katy and I went to see the last showing of "Gypsy" at the Bainbridge Island BPA playhouse.
We enjoyed it so much! I had explained to Katy prior to the performance, about the transition from vaudeville to burlesque and so she had an idea of what to expect. We relaxed and enjoyed the show.
Everyone gave a great performance, though I had a few favorites. We both thought Kelsey Mackin was great as Baby June - one of the reasons we came to watch, she and Katy attend dance together. She was really cute!
I also thought Mike Loudon (Herbie) was great! Sometimes it can be easy to overlook certain male characters, in a female-dominated performance, but he played his character so well, it was hard not to notice him.
The cherry on the top for me was watching the scenes involving Mazeppa played by Hannah Crichton. I was entranced watching her play this "stripper with a gimmick," knowing she is a clean-cut high school, dance girl! She totally transformed herself - AND made it look easy! Her eyes and her mouth told me how seriously she was into her part, there were no worries about being self-conscious. A true actress - Bravo!
As I said before, everyone was great. I wish I could recommend that you go see it for yourself, but unfortunately, this run is over.